


5 Times Yuri Taught Yuuri Russian Wrong and 1 Time Victor Found Out About It

by heartsdesire456



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Apologies, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Mischief, Post-Canon, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisetsky is a Brat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 16:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10222412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: Though he had made such a big deal about how much he hated Yuuri, he didn’treallyhate him.That said, Yuri couldn’t exactly pass up the opportunity to fuck with him just a little bit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This got longer than I thought it would be, but basically I thought about all the dirty things Yuri would try to trick Yuuri into saying and instaed, my brain gave me all the incorrect Russian he would teach him instead. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Though he had made such a big deal about how much he hated Katsudon, he didn’t _really_ hate him. Yuuri was a really good skater and an annoyingly nice guy. He was so earnest and he got so determined when he was challenged while in the correct mood. Yuri would never admit to anyone ever (apart from Otabek, who noticed on Skype once when Yuri had picked a bad position to sit in) that Yuuri was actually, kind of one of Yuri’s idols. He had sort of looked up to Katsuki Yuuri since he was ten because even if the guy didn’t win a lot, nobody else skated so gracefully. He had posters and everything. AGAIN, it was something nobody would ever know and he would murder anybody that ever found out for sure.

That said, Yuri couldn’t exactly pass up the opportunity to fuck with Katsudon just a little bit.

Yuri big back a smirk as he looked at him. “Help with your Russian, huh?”

Yuuri nodded with big puppy eyes. “Victor not good teach. He tell me I good when not I good,” he said in pretty stilted Russian. 

“Why bother learning?” Yuri asked him. “Most everybody speaks English and your English is great since you lived in America.”

Yuuri shook his head. “No, want understand person. All person-“ He frowned and Yuri snickered.

“People. The word you want is ‘people’,” he said, and Yuuri brightened up.

“Yes, people!” He clapped his hands. “You help?” he asked and Yuri knew, in that moment, that he should say no. He _knew_ in the deepest parts of his soul, that what he was thinking about was a mean thing to do.

But it was so easy he couldn’t help it.

Yuri grinned. “Yeah, sure. No problem.”

“Thanks!” Yuuri gushed, bowing as he skated backwards away from Yuri. “I must train, but thank you!” he said, waving as he skated back to the other end where Victor was waiting on him. 

Yuri couldn’t wait to start ‘helping’ with Katsudon’s Russian.

~

1.

“Yuri.” Yuri looked over at Katsudon, who was looking at some flowers outside a building. “How do you say, ‘those flowers are beautiful’?” he asked in English, and Yuri barely managed to not make an obvious face as he turned to him.

“‘What ugly weeds’,” he said, and Yuuri actually mumbled it over and over until he felt comfortable saying it out loud.

“What ugly weeds?” he asked, and Yuri smirked a bit, which made Yuuri frown. “What?”

Yuri covered quickly. “Your accent is terrible. Here,” he said, spending a few moments correcting Yuuri’s pronunciation. Yuri managed to keep a straight face the whole way back to the rink every time Yuuri pointed at some flowers and said, ‘what ugly weeds’ in an excited voice.

 

2\. 

There were a few things Yuri didn’t want people knowing about him. Him being a secret Katsuki Yuuri fan was one of those things, but equally as vital to keep secret was the slight – SLIGHT – crush he may or may not have on Otabek. It wasn’t his fault. He had never had a friend and his new friend was really cool and kind of hot and he was older so he had grown manly features and muscles and shit and it was _just natural_ for a person still going through puberty to find those things attractive and it didn’t mean anything at all, goddamn it!

Because of the need to make sure that nobody _ever found out ever_ , Yuri, naturally, panicked when he was watching Otabek’s performance at an ice show they were all doing and muttered, “That _ass_ in those _pants_ ,” as he watched Otabek’s tight, tight pants as he skated past, and immediately Yuuri asked him about it.

“I don’t know that words,” Yuuri said casually and Yuri paled rapidly, trying to think of anything he could possibly lie to say. “I hear word for clothes?” he asked, and Yuri nodded quickly.

“I said, ‘that’s a great costume’,” he said quickly in English, and Yuuri smiled.

“Oh, cool,” he said, and then, to Yuri’s horror, he repeated his words. “That ass in those pants?” he asked, and Yuri could only nod. “Ha, ‘that ass in those pants’,” he said again and Yuri already knew that one was going to come back and bite him in the ass one day.

However, the option to just tell the truth was _un-fucking-thinkable_ , so Yuri would just live with the inevitable consequences of his actions as long as it meant not having to deal with someone finding out about his tiny crush right now.

 

3\. 

Georgi was a mess, and it was getting pathetic. Yuri watched as Yakov held him by his shoulders, speaking to him in low, gentle tones to comfort him as he freaked out about something. He kept making dramatic gestures to the ice and tossing his head back and Yuri rolled his eyes. 

When Yakov waved a hand and started to leave, Georgi _started crying_ , and Yuri snorted. “Needy bitch.”

However, he forgot Yuuri was standing beside him. “What means that?” Yuuri asked, frowning. “Needy bitch?” he repeated and Yuri internally grimaced but nodded. 

“Yeah,” he said quickly. “It’s slang. It means like, ‘you’re so silly’.” He nodded to Georgi. “It’s kind of lighthearted teasing. Like when Georgi is being overdramatic.”

Yuuri looked over at Georgi, who was sobbing into his hands while Yakov patted his back and he giggled. “Georgi is definitely a needy bitch,” he said and Yuri barely held back the bark of laughter at Yuuri just saying that out loud. It was fucking hilarious, even if it was unintentional.

 

4.

It was nothing new for Mila to be all over him just to fuck with him, but Yuri was seriously sick of her shit. He was growing taller than her now and she never stopped teasing him about it. “Awwww but my sweet little Yuratchka is getting too big for me!” she cooed at him like he was a child, following him around as he skated around to warm up. 

“Fuck off, Mila,” he grumbled, but she wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Yuraaaaaaa,” she purred. “Stop being mean to me!” Mila giggled and grabbed his waist, making him splutter and snatch away before she could push him forward. 

“MILA!”

“Play with me,” she complained, poking his sides until he finally turned on her, cheeks red with annoyance.

He pushed her hands away and glared. “Fuck off, Slut!” he snapped, and she rolled her eyes and finally skated away. However, before he could get back to his warmup before Yuuri skated up to him with a frown.

“Were you being mean to Mila?” he asked in English, clearly not wanting to have his words misunderstood, looking so disappointed that Yuri actually felt a little guilty. “You shouldn’t be so harsh.”

“I wasn’t!” he said quickly. 

Yuuri gave him a disbelieving look. “Oh yeah? Then what did you say?”

Yuri thought quickly, and he spoke fast. “‘Fuck off, Slut’ is like saying, ‘I don’t feel like playing’. She kept wanting to pester me and goof off but my axel needs work.” He rolled his eyes. “Maybe my tone was harsh but I’m trying to focus.”

Yuuri hummed. “I guess why that would make you tell her that. Just don’t be so harsh about it. She doesn’t know what you’re going through,” he said, and much to Yuri’s annoyance, he reached up and ruffled Yuri’s hair. “You’re gonna be taller than me, soon,” he mused before skating off towards Victor. 

Yuri glared and tucked his hair back behind his ears, regretting forgetting a ponytail holder today. It did feel good to recognize he was getting as tall as Katusdon, though. 

 

5\. 

Yuri was getting really fucking sick of people criticizing him. They were practicing before another ice show and all the top men from the Grand Prix circuit were on the ice, and every fucking time he landed a jump poorly, JJ would yell shit about, “You’ll do it next time!” in that smug, mocking tone. The worst was the jabs at his age. 

“You’ve got time, little one!” he called, like he was fucking ancient or something at his grand age of four years older than Yuri. “Maybe you should try it like this,” he said before doing a perfect quad loop that Yuri had been struggling with. 

Yuri didn’t even have the energy to yell at him and instead just muttered under his breath, “Go die in a hole.”

“What was that?”

Yuri yelped, grabbing his chest as he spun and looked at Yuuri, who had skated up beside him far too quietly. “I’m going to put a bell on you!” he hissed and Yuuri just smiled.

“What you say?” he asked in Russian and Yuri groaned, remembering what he said and how pissed Yuuri would be he said it. Yuuri narrowed his eyes. “It mean thing again, yes?”

“No!” he said quickly. “I said, ‘thanks for your advice’, that’s all,” he said. “I just said it in a sarcastic tone.”

Yuuri hummed. “Does ‘go die in a hole’ really mean what you said?” he asked and Yuri nodded quickly.

“Yes, Piggy, it does, do you want me to be mean to you until you fuck off?” he asked and Yuuri huffed and rolled his eyes. 

“Fine, fine. I just thought maybe not because I know ‘thanks’ and you not say ‘thanks’ in there. But whatever, must be more slang,” he said, and then skated off before Yuri had to defend himself.

+1.

Something was wrong with Yuuri, and Victor couldn’t figure out what. 

Lately, Yuuri had been acting strangely and Victor wasn’t sure why. At first, he didn’t think much of the things Yuuri had started to say when he started learning Russian, because he figured he just was saying things incorrectly. It was actually really adorable, because while Yuuri was actually learning quite remarkably quickly considering Russian was very different from Japanese or English, he still said things incorrectly all the time in the cutest way. 

Nothing was as adorable as, “You food me,” instead of, “Bring my food.” He didn’t even bother correcting him half the time, which he knew was wrong, because it was so cute and he didn’t want to speed along Yuuri stopping saying such adorable things. 

However, some of the things he said were downright _confusing_. 

The first thing that happened to really throw Victor off was the day he surprised Yuuri with flowers and rather than thank him, he said, “What ugly weeds,” but with a big smile. Victor had been hurt momentarily that Yuuri didn’t like his gift, but his tone of voice and the smile as he smelled them made him rethink it. He thought, perhaps, Yuuri was trying to make a joke. His tone wasn’t really joking, but neither was it distasteful, so he doubted he _meant_ that he hated them. Victor just let it go, because Yuuri gave him a kiss that distracted him from whatever he was going to say. 

Victor got _offended_ when Yuuri saw Georgi trying out his new costume and shouted, “That ass in those pants!” at him with a thumbs up. Yuuri skated on, going into spins so he didn’t see Victor gaping and everybody else looking at him in confusion. Victor half-expected an explanation, but none ever came.

Georgi avoided Yuuri like the plague for _days_ after that. 

It _hurt_ when Victor kept interrupting Yuuri folding clothes to try and steal a kiss and he said something _so harsh_ Victor got upset. He kept tickling him and trying to kiss his cheek and Yuuri rolled his eyes and shoved him what seemed to be playfully before calling him a _needy bitch_ and telling him to fuck off. He even called him a _slut_. Victor had ignored him for the rest of the night and Yuuri had the gall to act like he hadn’t done anything to warrant Victor ignoring him after he said something so hurtful like that. They had been fighting off and on since that because Yuuri kept making remarks about Victor ignoring him for no reason, which was obviously untrue, every time Victor got even slightly annoyed at him. It frustrated him that he couldn’t go an entire day without arguing over Yuuri acting like he didn’t do anything and Victor was getting mad for no reason. 

So, Victor was aware Yuuri was acting strange. He knew something was wrong. He just had no idea _what_ until Yuuri did something so incredibly insane that the entire rink stopped and stared at him. 

Yuuri was practicing jumps while Victor talked to Yuri and Georgi about the schedule tomorrow since Victor had scheduled himself incorrectly and one of them had to share their time with him. Victor had noticed, out of the corner of his eyes, Yakov standing and watching Yuuri’s jumps and secretly hoped he hadn’t taught him anything terribly wrong that Yakov was noticing. Victor knew he wasn’t as good of a coach as Yuuri deserved, but he thought he did a pretty good job. It would be embarrassing if Yakov was spotting all his terrible teaching things. 

“Katsuki,” Yakov called and Yuuri looked over at him as he skated backwards past him. “You should watch that free leg,” he said in Russian, and Yuuri spun around, lining up for another run at his jump and what he called back to Yakov was enough that Victor _nearly_ fell on the ice, and the gasps around him said everybody else felt the same.

“Go die in a hole, Coach Yakov!”

Everything was silent except for Yuuri doing his jump – amusingly, with a better free leg than before – and skating through into a spread eagle. Yakov’s eyes were bulging out of his skull and his mouth hung open. Victor glanced at Georgi to make sure he hadn’t hallucinated, and saw that Georgi had gone pale and was staring in horror at Yuuri.

Yakov started spluttering. “WHAT?!” he roared, and Yuuri flinched, stumbling some as he turned around. “WHAT DID YOU SAY, BOY?!”

Yuuri frowned. “Go die in a hole?” he said and then slowed down to repeat it. “Go… die in a hole.” He nodded, seeming pleased with himself, and Victor felt like he was definitely having a stroke. 

“YUURI!” he cried in a strangled tone. “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!” he yelled, startled. 

Yuuri just pouted some. “Do I say wrong?” he asked, looking far too innocent for someone who just told _Yakov_ to go die in a hole. “I say ‘go die in a hole’,” he repeated and Yakov made an enraged wheezing sound.

“You little-“

“Yuuri, what is wrong with you?” Victor snapped, glaring. “You’ve been very strange and I do not like it,” he said firmly. “How could you say that to anybody? That is not like you, Yuuri-“

“What?! I just say ‘go die in a hole’ to Yakov-“

“EXACTLY!” Victor snapped angrily, skating towards Yuuri. “You’re not a mean person, so why would you ever-“ He stopped suddenly because he heard a cackling. “Who would laugh at this?!” he snapped, turning around, only to frown when he saw Yura clinging to the boards to stay on his feet as he positively howled with laughter. He finally slipped and fell onto the floor, giggling like the child he was, and Victor had a dawning realization. He turned back to Yuuri, who looked innocently confused. He swapped to English and tilted his head. “ _Zolotse_ , have you been learning Russian from Yuri?” he asked, and Yuuri nodded in confusion.

“Yes? I know you wanted to teach me, but you don’t correct me when I’m wrong, so I asked Yuri to help.” He looked over at Yuri, who was curled on his side on the ice crying with laughter, and then over at a positively apoplectic Yakov and his eyes widened as he rapidly went pale. “Oh God, what the hell did I just say to Yakov?” he asked in horror. 

Victor grimaced in sympathy. “You told him to ‘go die in a hole’-“ 

“WHAT?!” Yuuri cried fearfully. “I DID WHAT?! I SAID, _WHAAAAT_?!” He screamed wordlessly and skated towards Yakov, falling to his knees. “I’M SO SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I AM SO ASHAMED!” he cried as he nearly slammed into the wall headfirst so he could repeatedly bow to Yakov from his position practically face down on the ice. “COACH YAKOV I THOUGHT I WAS SAYING ‘THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE’, PLEASE BELIEVE ME, I AM SO SORRY!”

Victor turned to Yuri, who had managed to sit up and was still laughing himself red in the face, and he skated towards him as Yuuri’s frantic apologizing became rapid fire Japanese since his English couldn’t keep up with how mortified and ashamed he was. “Do you think that’s funny?!” he snapped, glaring down at Yuri. “Are you also the reason he yelled that sexual thing at Georgi?” he demanded. “Or why he called me a needy bitch and said, ‘fuck off, slut’ to me?” Yuri burst out laughing again and Victor had never wanted to kick a child more than he did at the moment. 

Georgi frowned. “That’s not that funny, Yuri. I really thought he was hitting on me,” he said, and Victor glowered down at Yuri.

“We’ve been fighting for a WEEK, and it’s because you taught him shit wrong!” he accused. “Yuuri’s been sleeping on the _living room floor_ because he’s mad at me, in the middle of his pre-season training, all because you thought it’s funny!” he snapped. 

Yuri slowed his laughter finally, smiling up at him like the little _child_ he was. “Heh, it’s funny as fuck! The Georgi thing was great, but the Yakov thing-“ He dissolved into giggles again and Victor could feel the anger growing. Yakov had walked away, clearly tired of Yuuri’s apologizing, and Victor could see Yuuri kneeling on the ice, upright, and crying into his hands out of the corner of his eyes. Yuri was still giggling while his fiancé was _crying_ from embarrassment and shame, and it made Victor livid. “Seriously, Victor, it’s hilarious-“

“YOU STUPID LITTLE BOY!” Victor snapped, absolutely enraged at how Yuri kept laughing. Yuri startled, looking up with wide eyes, and Victor could feel the disgust that had to be evident in his features. “You want to be treated like an adult?” he asked coldly. “Stop acting like a child. Look at Yuuri and tell me now that it’s funny,” he said, pointing to Yuuri, who was still crying. He saw Yuri finally look over at him and his face _finally_ showed some remorse. 

“But- but it isn’t that big of a deal,” Yuri said, seeming confused. “It’s just a joke.”

“You’re a cruel child,” Victor said coldly, turning to leave him there so he could go to Yuuri. When he got to where Yuuri was finally getting to his feet, hanging onto the boards to do so, Victor skated up behind him and put his hands on his waist. “Yuuri,” he said softly and Yuuri let out a _sob_.

“I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life,” he choked out, rubbing at his eyes. “Not even when I came in last at my first Grand Prix Final did I feel so ashamed.”

Victor gritted his teeth and hugged Yuuri, who turned and laid his head against Victor’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice sooner,” he murmured, curling a hand around the back of Yuuri’s hair. “I knew you were acting odd. I should have asked you sooner. I’m so, so sorry, Yuuri.” He held him and comforted him until he finally felt like leaving the ice. 

As they walked past Yuri and Georgi, Victor saw the guilt finally showing on Yuri’s face and he felt a vindictive pleasure in it. 

~

Okay, so, Yuri understood that what he did was wrong. He hated admitting he was ever wrong, but perhaps this time it wasn’t that hard to admit. Yuuri had been _crying_ , for fucks sake, which was never his intention. Yuri didn’t want anybody to know, but he actually really cared about that stupid fatty, so it made him feel pretty shitty to be the one who made him cry. 

Worse yet, Yuuri didn’t show up for practice the next day, and he knew how often Katsudon skipped practice. 

That was how Yuri found himself standing outside of Victor’s stupidly expensive apartment knocking on the door so he could apologize. It felt wrong to even think it, but Yuri knew he had to do it. It was cruel to trick somebody into learning things incorrectly, and he really felt like a shithead when he found out Victor and Yuuri had been fighting and it was his fault. They kept things pretty professional at the rink – surprisingly – and he hadn’t noticed they were fighting. He would pretend until the end of time that he thought they were disgusting – and they were sometimes – but he actually was really happy for them, because people didn’t get to be happy together that often in real life, and Yuuri and Victor were like a stupid fairytale or something. 

When the door opened, Yuuri took one look at him and tried to shut the door in his face, but he wedged his foot in the way. “Yuuri, wait,” he said desperately, because he had to apologize and stop feeling so damn shitty. 

“Why should I?” Yuuri said harshly, in English. “You want to teach me how to call my fiancé a slut again?” he asked coldly.

Yuri sighed. “I deserve that,” he said, and Yuuri glared. “Look, I just-“ He bit his lip, looking away. “I’m sorry.”

Yuuri looked startled. “Did- did you just-“

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry, okay?” he said in a rush. “I did something bad and I know now it was wrong, and it isn’t funny like I thought it was, and maybe I should grow the fuck up, because I feel like shit for making you cry and for making you and Victor fight. It was stupid and I’m sorry.”

Yuuri stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before a smile spread across his face and Yuri relaxed some, letting out the breath he had been holding. “Wow. That was a good apology,” he said, and Yuri blushed some. Yuuri sighed and held out his arms. Yuri made a face but stepped closer to let Yuuri hug him. “Thank you for apologizing,” he said, patting Yuri’s hair. “I guess I should have expected something like that,” he said as he withdrew. He gave a rueful smile. “As much as I try to get Victor to treat you like an adult, and as much as you’re gonna hate me saying it, you are still a child. I should have expected teenager antics from you.”

Yuri grumbled. “I’m not a child,” he mumbled and Yuuri raised an eyebrow. Yuri sighed. “Fine, okay, I acted like a child so I am one. But I’m not a little kid,” he countered and Yuuri smiled.

“You aren’t a little kid, Yurio, but you still have a lot of maturing to do. I think you learned something from this,” he said and Yuri was loathe to admit he was right. 

“Next time I want to play a mean prank, I’ll do it to fucking JJ,” he said and Yuuri tutted, swatting at his shoulder.

“I was wrong, you are a little kid,” he said flatly. “Get in here, small child, I’ll call your babysitter to come pick you up,” he teased and Yuri wanted to snap at him, but he knew that Yuuri had earned the right to pick on him for a little while at least after the shit Yuri had done to him. Yuri resigned himself to an afternoon of teasing and jokes about his age, and decided that, if it made Yuuri not feel so shitty anymore, it might just be worth it. 

He still planned to teach JJ to call his girlfriend an ugly slut, though.


End file.
